Again I scrutinize the mirror, willing it to answer. My reflection stares back, frustrated and expectant. Do I even know the question anymore? I don’t like talking about my eating disorder. Or perhaps, let’s personify “my eating disorder does not like being talked about.” I am not one of the teenagers who had a bout… Continue reading anxiety and my eating disorder →
I wish I could say I have writer’s block. It wouldn’t be a total lie. However, perhaps conversely to much of the internet I don’t feel anonymous behind the keyboard. Rather, I feel exposed and vulnerable. I like to hide from things that are hard and scary. So I avoid writing. The other day in… Continue reading Get Out of Your Own Way →
I’ve done myself – and perhaps you – a disservice and I’m sorry. I stopped writing. A quick jaunt through my previous posts and I smiled – I’m proud of the work I did; why did I stop? Fear. Right. The truth is I did lose my mind a little. And as evidenced by literature,… Continue reading I Stopped Writing →
I used that word in an earlier post and it aptly describes how I feel during the colder months. The blues come and go but the sense of blah typically offers its 6 month lease starting in October. And then it’s fine. Just fine. I gaze back toward the summer and my heart yearns for… Continue reading Dullish →
I think I’ve had a reasonable head through the pandemic. I’m mindful, socially distanced, and I keep an eye on the news. I remember when the pandemic first started and everyone around me was freaking out and all I could think is the panic you people are experiencing right now is how I live my… Continue reading Ramblings of Woe →
I am very tired and I have a few clients tomorrow. But that’s not why It is the anniversary of my dads suicide. But that’s not why. 2020 has changed all our winter holidays But even that’s not why. There is no closure tonight. People are still dying. America is still divided. This nightmare is… Continue reading I’m not watching the ball tonight →
No I have not forgotten. To the contrary, I’ve been actively avoiding writing. Why? Oh, you know. I just haven’t really had much to say— That’s a lie. Well, I’ve been quite busy with— Stretching it… Truly I’m not all that interesting, I was just— Scared. Yes. And wasn’t transparency the purpose of this blog?… Continue reading Have You Forgotten Me? →
With the exception of this blog, I have not mentioned my dad today. Which is unusual because today is his birthday. I always post a memory on Facebook about it but I avoid FB like the plague these days so I didn’t bother. Which means I also didn’t get the few supportive words I get… Continue reading He Would be 62 Today →
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