Random Bits

I thought I’d share 10 obscure, random facts about me and I hope my readers will reciprocate!

1. This one isn’t really too obscure but I’m obsessed with all things unicorn.

2. I sat on a flat iron on my 21st birthday. I was not clothed. Cue 2nd degree burns.

3. When I was 12 I was babysitting these kids who had a loft looking down to their living room. I jumped off the loft and landed on the couch. They didn’t ask me to babysit anymore.

4. When I was 19, a red car was tailgating me on the highway and when they passed I mouthed the word “asshole.” The driver careened into my lane and forced me onto the shoulder. I keep my road anger to myself now.

5. I once gave a friend the address of the house of my date with instructions to send the police if she hadn’t heard from me by a specified time. My phone was on silent. The police came.

6. I locked my keys in my car on campus unknowingly and after two hours of work I realized I must have locked them in. Since this was a frequent occurrence I didn’t bother checking first and headed over to public safety for assistance. They said, “we’ve been trying to find you. Your car is running.”

7. I have a phobia of maggots.

8. I totaled a car in a parking garage because I hit the gas instead of the brakes. The nearby construction workers were amused.

9. I used to somersault down the hall in high school before cheer practice. My spine had a bruise for three years.

10. My dad was a race car driver. Pretty sure he face palms from heaven when I do dumb things in my car.

Tell me yours!!!

Bad Scriptwriting

Scene: 2020, year of COVID pandemic.

Lead Role: female

Co star: 365 allergies

Supporting role: anxiety

January
Lead: “Oh dang. I have a sinus headache again. Pass me the aspirin.”
Co star: “Want to try a decongestant?”
Lead: “Ok but the one that wont make me tired.”

February
Lead: “Oh I have a sinus headache again. Maybe it’s an infection.”
Co star: “Nah, take Sudafed this time.”

March
Lead, annoyed: “Who has allergies in the winter anyway, honestly?”
Support: “Maybe you have that coronavirus they’re talking about.”
Female rolls eyes.

April
Lead: “I mean, I get these headaches all the time; just sinusitis right? I’ll just take my temperature.”
Co star snickers.
Support: “But I have to take Sudafed and it makes me tired but also unable to sleep. How am I supposed to therapize under such influence?” cries

May
Support: “Maybe it’s really coronavirus. Surely one can’t feel this awful from a sinus headache.”
Co star smirks
Lead, to co workers: “No it’s just allergies, I promise. I took my temperature.”

June
Lead: “Why is my body so weird? Who gets a reprieve from allergies in the summer?”
Co star, annoyed: “I’m still here I’m just not destroying your sinuses at the moment. Use the flonase.”
Support: “Should take my temperature to be certain I don’t have coronavirus.”

July
Co star, dancing around gleefully: “Here we go.”
Support: “Oh my God, my head really hurts. Like really. It’s coronavirus, I know it.”
Lead: “I’ll take my temperature.”

August
Co star, screaming: “HAHAHAHAAA you feel like crap don’t you?”
Support: “Should I stay home from work? What if it is coronavirus this time and not allergies?”
Lead: “I took my temperature, it’s fine. I’ll just work from home again to be safe.”
Support: “Oh my God I can’t taste or smell anything!”
Lead: “This happens every time you take Sudafed. Calm down.”

September
Support: “I will never know if I have coronavirus. I should just isolate myself until the pandemic is over.”
Co star falls, laughing hysterically.
Lead: “I need a vacation.”

2020 and Social Media

Last night I got my partner to join snapchat as it’s just an easier way to communicate for me. Upon creating his user name, the suggestion included “2020” and I said, you better not; we want to forget this year ever happened.” Cue laughter.

That’s the funny side of social media. Where we all make jokes about the ridiculousness that is 2020 to cover up the pain and anxiety of the uncertainty and sheer disbelief of the continued onslaught.

Then there’s masks and Black Lives Matter. Suddenly, social media became the theater for division and hate. I have been on Facebook for a very long time (OG right here) and I had to leave. People I had long respected broke my heart. My view of the world became distorted and I was like “if this is how it’s gon’ be, I want out. Jesus come take me home.” Then I found Tik Tok and it was a breath of fresh air. We laugh, we are real, we build each other up, we are genuine. I recognize the Tik Tok algorithm puts me with my people based on how I interact with Tik Tok, but it is the first social media I’ve ever intentionally NOT searched for people I know in real life. I don’t want people in my community simply because we’ve passed on the street, share blood, or had a class together. I want you in my life because you choose to be and we vibe together. No room for hate.

That is the beautiful side of social media. Connecting with people you would never meet as a passerby. I have friends from Australia and Canada who are more supportive than most of the people I’ve been friends with on Facebook for 10 years.

I’m not sure where I was attempting to go with this, other than the few people in my real life I’ve invited to my Tik Tok or even have shared this blog with have literally no response. “Left me on read” the kids would say. I have to brush it off and move on, keep moving forward. I’m still human.